?!

i'm going to be 50 this year, 50!! wow. when did that happen?! when people ask me how old i am i tell them and never even think about it but it has hit me today, 50. that's half a century.
mostly when i tell people my age they don't believe me which always surprises me. i don't know what 50 is supposed to look like.
the strangest thing is that it feels like just yesterday that i was a young bride of 21 and then a young mum off 22. the birth of both of my children is as clear as day. i can see my daughter blinking up at me from the crib in the hospital and i can see my son being given oxygen after almost hanging himself on entry into this world.
and yet in some ways it all seems so very long ago, almost like another world so much has happened.
i have been reflecting on all this and i find myself still completely overwhelmed with love for these tiny babies.
i knew i would love my children completely, of course i would, they are my children. but i was unaware of just how deep and how totally overwhelming that love is.
mostly when i tell people how old i am they don't believe me but if they could see all the experiences inside my head and feel the the feelings that go with them, they would know!

well, the new flooring is laid and has been admired by many. we are very pleased with it, it's a kind of stone tile effect, which i'm told is very realistic.
we've done a lot of furniture rearranging and clearing out which is very therapeutic it itself. all in all it's looking very good.
the weather here is fantastic and i'm thinking of pitching my tent in the garden and sleeping under the stars. i have also been given a telescope with deep space capability so i'm thinking maybe a star gazing party....

well now, how's things? i have tried to keep up with people's blogs but sometimes i just haven't had the energy. hopefully i will do better from here on in.
the last year has been a hive of activity and my feet have barely touched the ground. there have been weddings and babies, job changes, house moves, the whole sh'bang! not sure if i spelled that correctly but hey who cares?!
i have spent a lot of time being there for my family and friends and generally finding my own peace. it's taken some doing but i believe i'm making progress. the best thing you can have in life is inner peace. if you have this, everything seems brighter.
it's a glorious day here and it looks set to be good for a while which is a bonus. it's real beach walking weather but i'll have to forgo that to lay some new flooring which is arriving today. i like d.i.y. i've always enjoyed it really. some people really hate it but it gives me a sense of satisfaction. ok, i'm not the world's best but i enjoy standing back when i've finished a project and knowing it's my own work.