?!

i'm going to be 50 this year, 50!! wow. when did that happen?! when people ask me how old i am i tell them and never even think about it but it has hit me today, 50. that's half a century.
mostly when i tell people my age they don't believe me which always surprises me. i don't know what 50 is supposed to look like.
the strangest thing is that it feels like just yesterday that i was a young bride of 21 and then a young mum off 22. the birth of both of my children is as clear as day. i can see my daughter blinking up at me from the crib in the hospital and i can see my son being given oxygen after almost hanging himself on entry into this world.
and yet in some ways it all seems so very long ago, almost like another world so much has happened.
i have been reflecting on all this and i find myself still completely overwhelmed with love for these tiny babies.
i knew i would love my children completely, of course i would, they are my children. but i was unaware of just how deep and how totally overwhelming that love is.
mostly when i tell people how old i am they don't believe me but if they could see all the experiences inside my head and feel the the feelings that go with them, they would know!